Life is scary

 

I don't get how we are supposed to wake up every day with disgusting creatures in this world that want to hurt us. I don't get how we are supposed to feel safe walking alone. I don't want to fear this world, but fear is what this world is made of. We are driven by fear or be feared. Do I want to be scared? No. I want to walk where ever I want to go without fear of someone looking at me the wrong way or scared someone may touch me or hurt me. Life is scary. 

I have to be more aware of my surroundings, and it sucks. Maybe if I didn't have anxiety, I would not be so on edge and scared. But I am, I'm scared of what could happen to me. I should not have to be scared of the unknown and be scared to be alone in a place beside my home. Life is scary.

I want to look at the world and feel at home, not scared of what might happen to me. I shouldn't worry about the "what if's" and "maybes"...I should be worrying about now. But this world is so messed up, it's hard not to. It's hard when you have to turn a certain way from how your standing, because your scared people maybe "checking" out your butt. Life is scary. 

The world could be such a beautiful and safe people if people knew how to treat it right. Just because person A treated you wrong, doesn't mean person B has to be treated wrong too. Don't justify what you do because your hurting and think it's "okay". It's not, we are all hurting somehow; and that's okay. But what we do with that hurt, could be something so wrong and ugly. Life is scary. 

So, every day I put on a brave face...and face the world. I try to not dress for someone to give me a second look or to be stared at. I pull down my shorts a little, and pull up my shirt. I dress where I feel okay to go out in the world. I put up walls, to make my self feel safer...and end up hurting. Life is scary.

-Life is scary-