Reality Sucks Sometimes

                               Reality Sucks Sometimes 

   Reality is not all happiness and rainbows. There are blue days and gray clouds. It sucks, but it's true. I had a hard time coming up with what I wanted to write, it was hard for me. I had a rough week, last week. Then, I came into Monday and was hoping for a better week...but that's not how life works. 

Yesterday(2/10), was a weird day for me...it was bad and good. I had these horrible cramps for hours, and I couldn't do any work...which made me work longer till about 6:45pm, which kind of sucked. I looked up some remedies and felt better over time in the day. Before I continue, I am empath...which means I can feel others' feelings too. So, I decided to text some people and one of them I felt this intense feeling from that they were feeling that hurt me. You may be wondering, "how can you feel others' feelings through phone or text"? The answer is, I don't know. But it was this feeling they moved on from our friendship, and they wanted to "let me go". 

I can't feel exactly what someone else is feeling, but I can tell what they are feeling in a way of my own. I wanted to bring it up, in the best way possible, so I did. At first, they thought, it was my intention of saying, that I wanted them to let me go. But it was their feeling, that I felt. We discussed it and they said it was their feeling, that they felt for a little bit. But the thing is I honestly think this was a good part of my day, I think it was relief...like a weight off my chest; that was let go of. It felt good and felt like it was supposed to happen. 

So then after that, I had this feeling I needed to talk to an old friend and ask her questions. I wanted to know things, and why certain situations happened. I felt it was part of my self-love journey too. I wanted to know, why I was "holding" onto them still. There was something holding me too still follow their Instagram account when there was nothing left for me. Part of my self-love journey was to unfollow Instagram accounts, who brought negativity or who I just didn't want to follow. But their Instagram account always left me on indecisive thoughts. I didn't tell them, I felt this way...but I told them I wanted to have a conversation. After, the conversation, I felt relieved...and felt another weight off my chest. But in the end, I am still following them...because  I feel I have a reason too. 

Yes, I can feel other's emotions, but I also have anxiety...which confuses me sometimes, and I am also indecisive so I don't always know where the feeling is coming from. Sometimes, I am in pain because I also feel others' pain...and it hurts more when I know something is wrong; and they don't want to talk about it. 

I got a sign from God, I believe that I feel told me...I was on the right path, and doing the right things. I could have thought yesterday was a bad day, but I thought it was a relief day. I felt yesterday was a sign I am on the right path. Even though, not the best things keep happening to me; I have to make the best of the situation and keep picking myself up and telling myself it will be okay. I know, in the end, it will all work out. Reality sucks, but it is also magical and filled with so many surprises.